


Love like ours

by Loveyouzaynister



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Abused Zayn, Depressed Zayn, Domestic Violence, M/M, Mentions of Cancer, Multi, Sad Zayn, Zayn-centric, sad fic, zianourry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-02
Updated: 2015-06-22
Packaged: 2018-02-15 21:33:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2244252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loveyouzaynister/pseuds/Loveyouzaynister
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zayn Malik the youngest member of the world famous boy band has enough on his plate already. The stress of being famous, dealing with day to day rumors, dealing with a haunting past and most of all crushing on his best friend. Never in his wildest dreams did he thought, that he would be diagnose with such a life threatening disease.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So hello everyone this is my first book I hope you will all like it. I would appreciate if you all will cooperate with me and bear my mistakes. Please don't forget to leave kudos :)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I finish my solo with a sign, trying my best to enjoy the concert while we are at it and trying to hide my pain through a tight smile. But the pounding in my head was not decreasing. I tried to distract myself by looking at the fans, waving and smiling at them. Running my eyes through the crowd my gaze stops at a boy who looks around eight years old jumping up and down excitingly with our songs holding onto a man's hand who is smiling at him with adoration. Looking at them I start to think about my relationship with my father and that day when it all happen.

**Zayn's POV**

 

 

 

_I never had the words to say but now I'm asking you to stay_

_For a little while inside my arms, and as you close your eyes tonight_

_I'll pray that you will see the light_

_That's shining from the stars above_

 

 

I finish my solo with a sign, trying my best to enjoy the concert while we are at it and trying to hide my pain through a tight smile. But the pounding in my head was not decreasing. I tried to distract myself by looking at the fans, waving and smiling at them. Running my eyes through the crowd my gaze stops at a boy who looks around eight years old jumping up and down excitingly with our songs holding onto a man's hand who is smiling at him with adoration. Looking at them I start to think about my relationship with my father and that day when it all happen.

 

 

_I was watching TV at my house (home alone) because I was sick. My mum took my sisters to her friend's house. Dad was locked up in his office again pacing therefore. Mom and dad are getting into a lot of fights these days. But mommy says I shouldn't worry about it saying that where ever dads stressed we shouldn't disturb him._

 

_It's been two hours since mom left and now I'm getting hungry. Thinking I remember the cookies mum baked with me yesterday, running into the kitchen I realize that they were placed on the top shelf. Groaning I drag the chair towards the top shelf ready to get some sugar into my system when I heard footsteps coming from the stairs. I hurriedly tried to get off the chair when I accidentally hit the cookie jar smashing it into 100 of pieces._

 

_" ZAYN!! "I heard my dad scream as he entered the kitchen, he looked at the cookie jar and then at me._

 

 

_"WHAT.THE.HELL.ARE.YOU.DOING? "_

 

 

_My dad asked through gritted teeth "I was just hungry so I ... "_

 

 

_SMACK_

 

_I stood there shocked, not understanding what has happened. In the distance somewhere upstairs I hear a door being closed. Finally coming back to my senses i realized that my father just slapped me._

 

I was snapped out of my day dream when Niall patted me on my back going towards Harry who was singing his solo, while jumping around the stage. I smiled at their playful manner looking toward the other two when I realize that Louis was starring at me with concern filled eyes. He mouthed me if I was OK. I nodded while giving him a small smile.

 

 

He's always over protective of us, sometime it's very irritating but other than that it's very cute. These four guys are my life; they helped me through my hard times. They were the one who brought my walls down. Snapping out of my day dream once again, I realize that it was the end of the show.

 

 

"Thank you for coming tonight, I was a pleasure singing for you". Louis said into the microphone but you could barely hear it over the screams of the fans. Louis turned around and gave me a pointed look indicating that I should say something to the fans, as I spoke the least to the fans during our concerts. I brushed him off with a shrug leaning into Niall who was standing next to me as my headache increased. I close my eyes feeling the drowsiness already taking over my senses.

 

 

"Already getting tired Zee?" Niall whispered question as Liam bit his farewell toward the fans. I nodded with keeping my eyes closed. "Okay just hold on baby, only a few more minutes".

 

 

Suddenly the lights got dim indicating that it was the end of the show. We were dragged off the stage and pushed towards our dressing room where we changed our cloths. "Hope on Zayn." Harry said as he appeared in front of me. I crossed my arms and shake my head indicating that I'm not getting on. Giving me a pointed look, he took a step forward towards me and picked me up without a warning. I let out a girlish scream.

 

 

"What the hell, Harry put me down right now!" I ordered as the nearby people stared at us. "No can't do. I know you have a headache and that you are tired so shut up and enjoy". I blushed and nuzzled my face in his chest as he continued walking down the hall, the boys followed us laughing.

 

 

"Sleep baby you look tired, I'll wake you up when we reach the radio station" Harry mumbled while kissing my forehead. I let out a whine pouting my lips telling him that he is embarrassing me. Harry let out a laugh and ruffed my hair.

 

 

I heard someone laugh in front of me, looking up I saw Paul laughing at us. I suddenly felt heat rising on my cheeks. "Alright boys enough with the affection, we need to get all of you in the car before the fans get crowded around the back door, because we only have an hour to reach the radio station and the before midnight we will leave for the next city." "But Paul I'm tired" I whine, already feeling my headache getting worse. "Man up Zayn , you were the last one walking up today." Paul exclaimed, rolling his eyes at me.

 

 

Louis glared him, ready to defend me, when I stopped him. I didn't want Louis to create a scene. "Come on boys you heard Paul we need to get out of here." Liam mumbled while going towards the back door which would lead us to our van.

 

 

"Harry put me down please!" I said remembering what happened last time when the boys picked me up in public. I didn't want to satisfy the paps. They always made me look weak and pathetic compared to the other boys.

 

Harry nodded and placed me on the ground but grabbed my hand pulling me with him. I untangled my hand from him and pushed him toward Niall saying that he needed harry more than I do because of his claustrophobia. We all walked out of the door, shocked to see so many fans waiting for us.

 

 

All the boys waved at then while I kept my head down because most of them were here for Niall, Harry, Liam and Louis and because of my headache. Even If I kept my head up they would edit my picture saying that I was either drunk or high. Plus my dad made sure to remind me every day how ugly my smile was.

 

 

"Smile baby, you know how many people would die for that smile." Louis whispered while wrapping his arm around my waist. I gave a small smile towards the camera and jogged towards our van. As soon as I entered the van I let out a sign I was holding back. "Tired Zayn?" Liam questioned as he adjusted his seat belt. I nodded closing my eyes feeling tired and sleepy. The last thing I remember was Niall talking to Liam before I fell asleep.

 


	2. chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Ladies and gentlemen we are back after the short break with the world’s number one band ONE DIRECTION !.” as soon as the interviewer said that I zoned out, because I never really talked in the interviews. Usually I would just laugh and answer a few questions here and there. “Zayn! She asked you a question.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for supporting me and liking my story. I really appreciate it. I never thought I would get so much support. Here is the second chapter. Feel free to comment and leave kudos. Third chapter will be up next week :D

**Louis POV**

 

 

 

We were on our way to the radio station. I looked up from my phone to see to see, Liam texting on his phone, Niall scrolling through his news feed on twitter and harry starring out of the window. I looked to Harry’s left and couldn't help but smile when I saw Zayn curled up in his seat sleeping quietly. He looked so cute and carefree while sleeping.

 

 

Running my eyes through this body, I saw the fading scar that was engraved into his skin. He tried to hide it, by getting a tattoo. One look at the scar made my blood boil. I could never understand what kind of a father Yasser was. How could someone abuse their child and not some child but Zayn. I mean he literally worshiped the ground where his father walks. Even now when he would visit his family, he would treat his father like a fucking prince.

 

 

“Don’t you think he’s getting a bit more sleepy then normal?” I was snapped out of my thoughts when Niall asked this question to no one in particular. “Knowing Zayn, I think it’s normal.” Harry exclaimed while starring out of the window. I couldn't but frown, when I thought about what Niall was saying. Zayn’s sleeping habits have changed drastically from last month. He always complains about how tired and sleepy he is.

 

 

“Maybe it’s because of the tour.” Liam snapped at us without looking us from his cellphone. “For now let’s just let him sleep.” Harry said while creasing his cheek lovingly. We all nodded, dropping the topic. The rest of the ride was mostly peaceful, except for Niall who was consistently complaining about being hungry. Finally we reached the radio station. I couldn't help when a sign escaped my lips. I swear to god, I would have killed Niall if we stayed in this van for another minute. “Alright boys, here we are. So all you lot need to do is quickly get inside, without talking to the fans. Cause we are already late.

 

 

You can later apologize to them on twitter.” Paul stated as he looked at us from the front seat. He suddenly groaned when he looked at Zayn in his sleeping state. “And someone wake that hibernating bear too.” All the boys laughed at his comment and started to get out of the van leaving me to do the hard job like always. I moaned and over to Zayn, slightly shaking him.

 

 

 

 

**Zayn's POV**

 

 

 

I was disturbed from my peaceful slumber when I felt someone shaking me. Groaning I slapped the hand away and tried to get into a more comfortable position on my bed. When I suddenly realize that it was not my bed but a car seat. I slowly got up into a sitting position. “Sleep well baby?” Louis questioned while running his hand through my hair. I glared at his for called me a baby but he ignored it.

 

 

As soon as we got out of the car, we were surrounded by the paps and fans. I closed my eyes due to flashes of the cameras, because they were increasing the pounding of my head. Louis placed his hand on my lower back as he guided us through the crowed. “Took you long enough, I thought you fucking died.” Liam snapped at us while glaring at me. As soon as he said that I felt the atmosphere changing between us.

 

 

One look in his eyes had my cringing away. I merely shrugged my shoulders as Liam walked away. I don’t know what’s wrong with him but he has been acting very hostile towards us since last week. “What’s wrong with him?” I questioned Niall exclaimed while placing his arms around my shoulders as we walked towards the recording booth. “I don’t know maybe he’s on his period.” Niall exclaimed. I had to bite down my lips in order to hold my laugh as Louis and harry burst into fits of laughter. As soon as we entered the booth we were told that we only have five minutes before the show starts.

 

 

_“Ladies and gentlemen we are back after the short break with the world’s number one band ONE DIRECTION !._ ” as soon as the interviewer said that I zoned out, because I never really talked in the interviews. Usually I would just laugh and answer a few questions here and there. “Zayn! She asked you a question.”

 

 

I was snapped out of my thoughts (which I have been doing a lot today) when Liam snapped at me. I looked up to see his eyes flaming with anger and frustration, but most of all annoyance. I cringed and looked away because his eyes reminded me a lot of my father when he would be angry at me. Shaking my head, as I tried to erase the memory I looked at the interviewer and asked her to repeat the question. I was listening to the interviewer when I felt a wave of dizziness hit me.

 

 

I tried to steady myself by placing my arm on the table that was in front of me. “You alright there?” the interviewer asked me. I tried to gather up my thoughts and mustered up a smile. “Yes, sorry I kind of lost my balance. The boys shot me concern glance but I ignore them. I didn’t wanted to be in the spot light. As soon as the interview was over, we all let out a sign of relief. “Come on lads, let’s head out. We have to leave for Chicago today.” Liam mumbled while running a hand through his hair. We were heading out towards the entrance we I felt dizzy again. I steady myself against the wall and started following the boys trying me best to ignore the dizzy feeling. Like before the entrance was packed with the paps and fans.

 

 

 

 

**Narrator’s POV**

 

 

 

The boys were half way through the crowd when a foot came out of nowhere and tripped Zayn. Falling to the ground, he managed to place his hands down before he face planted the concrete. He could hear the screams of the boys, who were shouting at the security to get Zayn out of there. Hell broke loss, when the paps and fans realize that Zayn had fallen down. Bodies were pushing up against him and the obnoxiously bright lights of the cameras were all focused on him, which were not helping his head ache. They were all screaming at him, some in excitement, while others were throwing insults. He was still down on the ground, hands were grabbing at his cloths, his hair, and just about anything they could reach.

 

 

Trying to push away the hands, Zayn hopelessly searched for the security, for the boys, for anyone who could help him out of this situation. His heart was beating wildly as the voices he didn't recognize, yelled out to him. The loud screams of the fans, as they tried to get closer to him were creeping him out. Panic rose in him as the screams got louder. Hands were pulling his shirt, some even at his hair. But he finally lost it when, someone accidentally landed a kick on his ribs. Flashbacks ran through his mind, as he tried to concentrate on his breathing. Finally the dizziness got the best of him. Thanking god that the overwhelming panic was finished, he fainted.


	3. chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ONE DIRECTION’S ZAYN MALIK IS A DRUG ADDICT? Apparently last night one direction’s Zayn Malik fainted while leaving the radio station after their interview. It was confirmed by an inside source that it was due to the overdose of the drug. But there are a lot of questions on everyone’s mind. Is Zayn Malik still capable of staying in one direction? Is he…” the news was cut short Niall turned off the t.v.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Early update ;) 
> 
> ENJOY

 

**Harry's POV**

 

 

 

As soon as we stepped out of the door, I had a bad gut feeling. Thinking it was just because of our crazy fans and Niall’s claustrophobia, I stepped  _closer_  to him and interlocked our fingers together as an act of comfort. Half way through the car, the screams of the fans increased. The fans who were once trying to touch us in any way possible moved backwards and gathered around someone. Thinking it was just one of the lucky fans who got Louis hat we continue to walk further. Thanking got the once in our life there were no _fans_  in front of the car I pushed Niall into it first and started to climb after him. But half way _sitting_  in the car Louis voice stopped me.

 

 

 “Harry”. I turned around to ask him what was wrong but stopped half way. Louis looked like he has just seen a _ghost,_  he was  _pale_  and was looking _frightened._

 

 

“What’s wrong Lou?” I asked him. He didn’t reply just pointed towards the mob of fans that was gathered around something or should I say someone. I tried to peek over the fans to see what was wrong but couldn’t look through them. Turning back to Louis I realize that Liam was with him, he too looked scared and  _panicked_  but was  _composing_  himself much better.

 

 

Suddenly I realized that Zayn was not with them. Looking around I finally figured what was happening. Zayn my poor _baby_  was trapped in the mob of fans and paps. They were all screaming and throwing questions at him. I stared at them in  _shock_  not knowing what to do.

 

 

“Harry we need to get h-him out of there. There are too many people and they are all screaming. H-he’s going to have a _panic attack_  soon.” Louis said while looking at me with a  _scared_  expression. Realization drawn towards me and my body sprang into action.

 

 

“ _Paul! PAUL!!”_  I screamed trying to get his attention. As soon as he came towards us I started to bark orders at him. “Zayn is stuck in there. What are you doing? We need to get  _more_  security so they can push the fans back while we try to get Zayn out.”

 

 

“WHAT? Zayn is in there? We’ll get him out but harry it’s too dangerous for you to go back in there.” He tried to reason with me while pointing at the mob of fans. “Zayn is stuck in there, probably having a panic attack and you think _it is dangerous for us to go in there_?” I snapped at him, causing him to look at with a shocked expression because I have never spoken to his like this. He looked taken aback but neither less nodded and stared to get more security.

 

 

“You guys go get Zayn I’ll be with Niall.” Liam mumbled and looked unfazed by what was happening and  _jogged_  towards the car. If looks could kill Liam would be dead by now because of the death glare Louis was giving him. “What. The. Hell?” Louis muttered and started  _chasing_  Liam to ask him what was wrong, when I stopped him. “Louis leave him. We will talk to him later but now let’s get Zayn out of that hell hole.”

 

 

By now the  _security_  had arrived and was doing their best to push the fans away from Zayn. Louis and I ran towards Zayn and saw that he had fainted because of all this drama. Louis picked him up and we made our way towards the car before the fans could get all  _crazy_  on us again.

 

 

“I am going to kill the fans. What were they thinking? Don’t they know that Zayn is the most fragile one out of us?  _Poor Zen_  he must be scared shit-less.” Louis mumbled while looking at Zayn checking for any injuries. Louis muttered while  _checking_  Zayn’s body for any injuries. He was fine except for the nail marks on his arms.

 

 

We all nodded while Liam  _comforted_  a scared Niall. I made a  _mental note_  to ask him what was going on between him and Zayn. Paul wanted us to take Zayn to the hospital but we denied it because we all know how much he hates the hospitals.  Finally after half an hour we reached our hotel. Paul took us in through the back gate so the fans won’t be able to see Zayn.

 

 

As we reached the hotel, Louis picked Zayn up and carried Zayn to his and Liam’s room, so when he wakes up he won’t freak out. We all bid our goodbyes to each other and heeded for to bed.

 

 

 

 

**Zayn’s POV**

 

 

 

 

_It was the last day of my middle school. Soon I’ll be a grown up like daddy wants me to be and then maybe he will love me like he loves mommy and Doniya, because of being my last day of school I was half an hour late even when daddy told me to be on time. I prayed to god that daddy would be sleeping so I won’t get hit today. With one last pray I entered the house with the spare key mommy has lend me. I looked around the living room and saw that it was empty, thanking god I made a run for my bed room upstairs. I was on the first step of the stairs when I heard his voice._

 

 

_“Sneaking again aren’t we Zaynie?” Just hearing his voice made my heart beat at a frantic rate. I turned around to face him but kept my head down. He hates it when I look at him in the eye he says I’m not worth it. I tried to look at him from the corner of my eye when he made a ‘task’ sound. “You know how much I hate it when you are late Zayn. So why do you keep on disappointing me? So tell me why were you late Zayn?” he questioned while tracing light patterns on my arm and neck._

 

 

_I whimpered when his hands got a little rough but remain quite. I was way too scared to answer him. Suddenly my dad slapped me hard across my face, causing me to fell on the floor and let out a scream of pain._

 

 

_“Answer me!” my dad screamed. “I-I am s-sorry dad” I said quietly hoping that maybe today he will forgive me. “So the bitch finally speaks” my dad snapped while looking at me with pure hatred. “you know what happens to children who lies?” my dad questioned me with a sick smile._

 

 

_Before I could say something my dad shoved me towards the ground and started b_ _eating me like a punching bag. I screamed and tried to stop him but I was too weak._

 

 

_“Zayn! ZAYN!_  Wake up baby it’s just a dream.” Someone was shaking me but all I cared was about getting away from my father. My breath came out in  _shorts pants_  and I couldn’t open my eyes all I could see was my dad’s beating me like a  _punching bag_. Suddenly there were hands on me which only seemed to trigger my panic more. I could hear someone screaming and someone barking orders. After a moments the hands were off me and I was in someone’s _lap._

 

 

Judging by the hands it was Louis. “Shh Zayn it’s just me. It’s just Louis. No one will hurt you. You are ok.” When I realized it was just Louis I _cling_  to him harder trying to feel safe. For some time we stayed like this. After a while Louis tried to put me down but I held on to him tightly. “P-please don’t l-leave m-me Lou.” I whimpered trying ti press my face _further_  into his neck. 

 

 

After an hour of my  _sobbing_  mess, I got tired again. My eyelids were getting heavy and all my body weight was on Louis but I tried to stay awake, scared that Louis would leave me. “Go to sleep Zaynie, I’ll be here when you’ll wake up.” That was all I  _needed_  to hear, the reassurance in his voice calmed me and help me slip into a peaceful slumber free on _nightmares._

 

 

The next time I woke up was due to the knocking on my door. “Zaynie we will be all in my room, wake up and get there fast or Niall will eat all your breakfast.” Harry said through the other side of the room. I mumbled a quick reply before I heard his _footstep_ s fade.

 

 

I lean on the headboard thinking about how much my life has changed since the past three years. Getting into x factor, meeting the boys, they finding about my abuse, helping me get over my fear, my parents getting a _divorce_  and last but not the least realizing my feelings for Liam. I have been crushing on him since last year but I always chicken out before telling him.

 

 

I was so deep in my thoughts, that I didn’t realize someone knocking on the door entering. “So the sleeping beauty is finally awake.” Liam said while leaning on the door frame. He was wearing a white t-shirt with grey sweatpants looking hot as ever.

 

 

_Snapping_  out of my day dream I mumbled a quite yes. “So how long was I out for?” I questioned while try to cover myself, when I realize that I was shirtless. Liam chucked a little before answering “you were out for the whole night its 11 in the morning.”

 

 

“You should get ready, all the boys are waiting for you in Harry’s room, and we have an interview in an hour.” I nodded and started getting out of bed, I had to brace myself with the wall because of my  _sudden movements._

 

 

I heard a gasp behind me and within seconds Liam was beside me. He turned me around to have a view of my back. “ _What. The. Hell_?” Liam said under his breath. I turned around to see Liam standing there with a shocked expression. “What’s wrong li?” I frightened muttered scared of his reaction. “YOUR BACK!!” Liam  _practically_  screamed as he held my wrist and dragged me to the attached bathroom. “What is it li?” I questioned slowly, not sure whether he heard me or not.

 

 

“There’s a huge bruise on your back!” Liam said _frowning_  at me, “Do you know what caused it?”he intrigued. I  _shrugged_  while playing with my fingers. Liam frowned at me while curtly nodding. “Fine let me check it, to see whether it has gotten infected or not.” I made a scoffing noise “I think I can handle a small bruise on my back I have faced  _worse.”_

 

 

I hatted pity and at that moment Liam was pitying me. Liam glared at me for a while before storming out of my hotel room. I ignored the conversation and started to get ready. After half an hour I got ready. I  _checked_  myself in the mirror and headed towards Harry’s room.

 

 

As I reached Harry’s room I could hear the boys arguing, brushing it off as a stupid argument I entered his room with a knock marking my presence. All of the boys looked surprised but Louis was the first one who snapped out of the trance. He came forward and hugged me tightly. “I’m so glad that you are alright, you gave us quite a scare.” He mumbled into my hair. After Louis released me from his hug, Niall and Harry did the same. Liam didn’t even looked at me once.

 

 

“Ok if we are all done with the affection can we please order some food causing my stomach is practically eating itself.” Niall grumbled. We all laughed at him and nodded. While Niall ordered room service for everyone we made our  _self-comfortable_  on Harry’s bed, Liam turned on the t.v.

 

 

_“ONE DIRECTION’S ZAYN MALIK IS A DRUG ADDICT? Apparently last night one direction’s Zayn Malik fainted while leaving the radio station after their interview. It was confirmed by an inside source that it was due to the overdose of the drug. But there are a lot of questions on everyone’s_  mind. Is  _Zayn Malik still capable of staying in one direction? Is he_ …” the news was cut short   Niall turned off the t.v.

 

 

All the boys were shocked and staring at me trying to judge my expression but all I could feel was numbness. I never understood why the media hated me so much. All the boys has done something in there past but they were never highlighted in the news.

 

 

_“So that’s what Sophia finds attractive about you!” Liam snapped._

 

 


	4. chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liam made a scoffing noise, and pulled his hand away from me."Do you really think I will believe you. You are just fucking twat." All I could really do was stair at him. Out of all this conversation, what really hurt me was the words Liam was calling me. "L-liam please, I-I haven't done a-anything" I stammered trying desperately to make him believe me. But he did nothing just shake his head and stepped away from me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry everyone. I know this is a very late but I had many problems. I will try to update soon but please don't keep your hopes high. I'm sorry for all this mistakes because its not edited.

 

 

 

_**Zayn's POV** _

 

 

 

 

 

"What?" I chocked out, still trying to wrap my head around the news.

 

 

 

"Stop acting like an _innocent brat!_ You thought I would never know about your filthy deeds" Liam spat. If looks could kill I would have been dead by now because of Liam's death glare.

 

 

"But I don't even know what you are talking about!" I said because seriously, this was all getting out of my hand. "Stop acting like an innocent brat! All this time I thought you were my friend but you were nothing but an asshole" Liam screamed at me.

 

 

"Are you even going to tell us why the hell are you screaming or you're just going to throw a fit." Louis shot at Liam speaking for the first time. Something about Louis words seem to made Liam only more mad . "Oh my god!, don't tell me you guys don't know." Liam said sarcastically.

 

 

"Actually Liam it's better if you just explain us what's going on rather then telling riddles." Niall said annoyingly , because honestly Liam was making no sense. "Liam honestly I didn't do anything. You must have som-..." I didn't complete my sentence because of the death glare Liam was giving me. His gaze reminded me alot of my father, which had me shrinking back.

 

 

"Liam." Niall said it was more of a warning then a question but he didn't stop starring at me. I could feel his gaze on me. I knew that I was minutes away form having a panic attack. My breathing was decreasing when I felt Louis arm around me. Burying my head in his chest I tried to calm my breathing. After a minute or two finally by breathing was normal.

 

 

"Ok Liam, this is enough. You have no right to talk to Zayn like that, either you explain what the fuck is wrong or get your shit together." Harry spat. I looked up from where I was hiding in Louis chest to see Harry standing face to face with Liam.

 

 

Liam let out a humorless laugh. "You really want to know what's wrong? Don't you! Well _OUR LOVING BEST FRIEND AND BAND MATE HAS A FUCKING AFFAIR WITH MY GIRL FRIEND!"_ It took us all a minute to understand what has happened, and what Liam said. If we were in an other situation I would have laughed at him. Because the guy on which I had a crush, was blaming me on having an affair with his girl friend. Louis was the first one who snapped out of the shock. "What!! You must be mistaking it Liam!" he exclaimed throwing his hands up in order to prove his point.

 

 

"I am not mistaking it Lou, Sophia called me and confessed herself." Liam said while glaring at me. "Liam. You must have misunderstood her. I would never do this to you, our anyone else." I pleaded while taking a hold of his hand, in order to show I am sincere.

 

 

Liam made a scoffing noise, and pulled his hand away from me."Do you really think I will believe you. You are just fucking twat." All I could really do was stair at him. Out of all this conversation, what really hurt me was the words Liam was calling me. "L-liam please, I-I haven't done a-anything" I stammered trying desperately to make him believe me. But he did nothing just shake his head and stepped away from me.

 

 

"You know what Zayn? Your dad was right. You are nothing but a worthless waste of time and space." liam snarled at me. Gasps filled the room but all I could hear was liam's voice which was taunting me. Trying to get out of this situation I moved back and tripped over the couch and fell on the floor with a thud. Louis and Harry came running towards me and threw questions and me asking if I was ok. But all I could hear was busing noise and saw hazy figures. I felt a non bearing pain in my back, which made me scream out in pain. Now all the boys starred at me in shock, as I laid their gasping for air to flow in my lungs. I bile rise in the back of my mouth. Turning away from where Harry and Louis were kneeling, I threw up violently. Dry heaving a few times, I finally leaned back on the floor. The black spots that were covering my vision started to take out. Letting out a breath I finally _fainted._

 

 

 

 

 

 

**_Narrator's POV_ **

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

All the boys starred at Zayn's body in _shock_ , trying to register their mind around what has happened. One minute they were watching TV and the next moment Zayn has has fainted, while Liam was ready to kill him.

 

 

"Guys I just saw the news, don't worry I ha-... What happened to him.??" Paul stopped half way through his rant and questioned the boys, when he saw Zayn's fainted body on the floor. Louis was the first on who snapped out of his daze and answered Paul's question. "I think he fainted because of the stress of past 2 days." By now Paul has keeled down next to Zayn and was lightly taping Zayn on his face in order to wake him up. "Don't you think we should call the doctor, I mean it's the second time he has fainted. It's not normal."

 

 

"I don't think it's needed, it was just because of the stress, and plus he doesn't like hospitals." this time it was Harry who replied to him. He came forward and bent down to pick Zayn up, while the boys agreed to him because they all know how much Zayn hates hospitals.

 

 

"Paul do me a favor and cancel today's rehearsals. I'm taking Zayn to his room, after that I would like to have a chat with you Liam." he directed the last part to the Bambi eyed boy and walked out of the room.

 

 

 

 

 

 

~

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"What the hell was that Liam? You and I both know he's still effected by those words. Don't you this what his his father has done to him is enough?" Harry sneered at Liam while pacing the living room of Niall and Zayn's Hotel room.

 

 

It has been two hours since the whole drama. Zayn was still sleeping while Harry was pacing the living room and screaming at Liam non stop. Paul had already set them free for the day. Louis was trying to calm Harry down, where as Niall was doing the same thing with liam. Liam simply shrugged before replying "honestly Harry I don't understand why you are throwing a fit. I know I went a bit hard on him but he deserved it. For crying out loud, he was having an affair with my girlfriend.!"

 

 

Honestly Liam couldn't understand what he had done wrong and why Harry was throwing a fit. He had done the right thing. Liam was snapped out of his thoughts, when Niall placed a hand on his shoulder. "I understand what you are feeling mate, but you should have gone easy on him. He is still effected by his dad's abuse." Niall reasoned trying to knock some sense into the brown eyed boy.

 

 

Liam was about to reply him when the door to Zayn's room opened. Out walked Zayn looking like a toddler. He looked so small in Harry's large clothes. He was rubbing his eyes with his fist, his half lidded eyes making him look so innocent and small. But stopped dead in his tracks when his eyes landed on Liam. He looked around the room for a while, there was an awkward silence in the air. He shifted his weight from one foot to another. Finally when no one said anything he decided to go back to his room.

 

 

He had just turn around when Louis walk forward and dragged him towards the couch, while he shot Liam a look which clearly said 'we will talk later'. All the boys decided to watch a movie in order to avoid any awkwardness. No said anything about the morning, but Liam still tried to avoid him at all cost.

 

 

They were half way through the movie when Zayn's phone vibrated. Excusing himself he went into his room. Closing the door behind him, he picked the phone.

 

 

"Hello."

 

 

"You never fail to disappoint me, don't you Zayn?" a voice snarl into the phone.

 

 

He recognized the voice within a heartbeat. How can he ever forget this voice? It sent chills down his body. He thought of ending the call without replying, but a distant memory stopped him. Inhaling a much needed breath, he stuttered into the phone.

 

 

_"D-dad"_


	5. chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the late update, but here it is finally. Next update within a week or two.

 

 

 

 

**Narrator's POV**

 

 

 

 

"D-dad" Zayn  _stuttered_  into the phone. He couldn't believe his ears. After all that the boys has done for him, he was sure that he would never hear form him  _again_.

 

 

"Still the same pathetic bitch I see, stuttering like a _faggot_." Yasir snarled from the other end making Zayn cry out of fear.

 

 

"D-dad you? But h-how? The boys said that I w-would never hear from you again." Zayn  _whimpered_  pathetically into the phone. He was scared and frightened that his dad would some how _drag_  him back into that hell hole, taking him away from the boys.

 

 

Even though Zayn  _knew_  the boys would never let his father near him. He was still scared. He father was capable of doing anything. Zayn had realized this after his father won his custody, when his parents got  _divorced_.

 

 

"Did you really think I would  _let_  you go? After all this time, you should have realized that you are mine." his dad snapped through the phone. By now Zayn had nearly  _forgotten_  to breath. Trying to labor his breathing Zayn tried to reply back but his father  _beat_  him to it.

 

 

"You know I saw the news, the other day. So now you have starting going  _drugs_  Zayn? Looks like someone needs to learn a  _lesson_." Yasir said  _smirking_  at the other end. Thinking about the beating and what the boys had promised him all that time ago, Zayn finally had the  _courage_  to reply back.

 

 

"T-the boys w-would never let you hurt me, I know they will protect me." Zayn said through the phone, he wanted to say more but he was cut off with the  _knock_  on his door.

 

 

"Zayn you OK? The boys are ordering dinner, what do you want to eat." Niall questioned through the door. Zayn didn't reply though, he was scared off how Niall will react if he found out that Yasir had called.

 

 

"Looks like you have to go _Zaynie_ , but don't worry we will see each other soon." Zayn  _cringed_  at the nickname. But when his mind registered what his father has said, he started to freak out.

 

 

He knew if he went out back to the boys they will  _definitely_  know that something was wrong. The boys already stressed these days because of the tour. Zayn didn't want to increase their tensions so he slide into his King size bed and tried to  _sleep._

 

 

The rest of the week was full of events. The boys had total of five interviews and three concerts, which were all great. Thankfully the boys were getting a two week _break_ , in which they would fly back to The  _U.K._ Zayn didn't had any more of his fainting episode and the rumors that related him had finally died down.

 

 

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

 

 

The boys were on their way to an interview. It was their last interview before the break. Zayn was feeling sick and _dizzy_  again. Since he had gotten up he had felt lightheaded and just wanted to lie down but he couldn't miss this interview.

 

 

He hadn't told his boy but knew that Liam was aware of the fact that he wasn't feeling good. Even though Liam was still mad at him, He shot a worried glance at Zayn after every few minutes. As they walk out of their hotel lobby towards the car, Liam quickly sat down next to the younger boy.

 

 

"Are you okay?" Liam  _whispered_  into his ear. Zayn just nodded because one he was  _shocked_  that Liam was talking to him and second he was too _sick_  to reply, so he decided to stay quiet. As they drove to the studio he looked out of the window, not paying attention to the boys who were laughing about some things.

 

 

 

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

 

 

 

It would be an understatement to say that the boys were worried. They were going crazy because they all knew that something was wrong. Zayn acted  _different_  since the past week, he barely talked to them and he didn't look well.

 

 

Louis was  _100 percent_  sure that he wasn't feeling too well and decided to ask Zayn as soon as they reached the studio, because he knew that Zayn would never tell them if something was wrong.

 

 

A few minutes later the boys were all sitting backstage waiting for the interviewer to arrive. Louis looked around to see if anyone was there but it was only the five of them, he knew it was the perfect time to confront Zayn.

 

 

"Zayn what is  _wrong_  with you?" he asked and everyone stopped talking and looked at him, making him feel a little bit uncomfortable."What do you mean?" the raven haired boy  _responded_  surprised.

 

 

"You know exactly what I mean, right?" Louis  _growled_  and glared at Zayn who was staring at his hands."I don't know what you're talking about!" he replied and  _close_  his eyes because he was feeling  _dizzy_.

 

 

"You do know so just tell us what's going on! We are your best friend and you should trust us!" the oldest boy yelled angrily and Zayn had enough.  _Yelling_  always made him feel  _uncomfortable._

 

 

He got up quickly, a little bit too quickly as suddenly everything started to spin around him. He swayed on his feet and heard someone calling his name from far away. Black spots were dancing in front of his eyes, suddenly someone wrapped his arms around his waist and pulled him back down.

 

 

Niall watched in _horror_  as Zayn swayed on his feet, his face  _pale_  and his eyes _wide._

 

 

"Zayn!" Liam  _screamed_  and ran over to him but Niall was faster he wrapped his strong arms around Zayn's waist . The blonde boy guided Zayn back to the couch where he laid him down, letting his head rest on his lap while Liam ran to get some water and Louis got Paul.

 

 

Niall ran his hand through the messy black hair, sighing as he realized how long he hadn't done this. Zayn had been so distant after that night, that he hadn't even _hugged_  them.

 

 

"What happened?" Paul asked as he  _burst_  through the door, Louis following behind."I have no idea. He got up and I think he got  _dizzy_ " Niall explained as Liam put a cold cloth on Zayn's forehead.

 

 

Zayn could hear  _voices_  somewhere far away. His eyes were moving between the boys and their bodyguard, he saw them mouthing some things, someone was holding his hand but he couldn't hear what they were saying. Suddenly something was pressed against his mouth and as he looked he saw a bottle of water. Zayn quickly opened his mouth,  _nearly choking_  as the liquid ran down his throat.It took a few more minutes until he could focus again and the dizzy feeling passed.

 

 

"Zayn you're back with us?" Paul asked as he saw Zayn's eyes staring at him."Yeah I guess" the boy nodded and sat up with the help of Niall.

 

 

"You gave us quiet a scare" Louis whispered and Zayn looked at them _apologetically._ "Are you okay now? Aren't you feeling well?" their bodyguard asked but Zayn brushed him off.

 

 

"I'm fine. I just felt a little bit dizzy but I'm good now" he _reassured_  everyone but Niall didn't believe him.  _"I don't think so_ " he said and now everyone turned to look at him. "He's so tired. all he does is sleep . He barely wakes up and I'm just really worried about him!"

 

 

Zayn paled as he heard those words. He knew something was wrong with his but he thought he was hiding it well."What does that mean you are barely awake ?" Paul asked  _confused_  but Zayn only stared at the floor not daring to look at Paul.

 

 

It was silent for a long time until Zayn decided to leave. He couldn't get caught so he had to leave. The raven haired boy got up from the couch and wanted to walk out of the room he was half way out of the room when he started to feel  _dizzy,_  Gasps were all Zayn heard before his world went black.black. Zayn was  _woken_  when he heard someone singing he opened his eyes and saw Harry  _singing._

 

 

 

 

_**And I've just let these little things** _

_**Slip, out of my mouth,** _

_**'Cause it's you, oh it's you,** _

_**It's you,** _

_**They add up to** _

_**And I'm in love with you,** _

_**And all these little things** _

 

 

 

 

After Harry had started the line the other boys had quickly joined him and the room was filled with their voices now. Harry was crying silently but tried to stay strong, Niall was holding Zayn's hand and so did Louis while Liam was running his fingers through Zayn's hair still stocked about what they had just  _witnessed._

 

 

He should've known better. He should've known that something wasn't right. Even thought he was still angry with Zayn, he should have looked after him.They  _cancelled_  the TV interview, telling the interviewer that one of the boys was sick and drove back to their hotel, where they led Zayn inside.

 

 

"Lets go bed ? ' Harry asked gently and Zayn nodded tiredly.As Harry took Zayn to his room, the boys settle down in the living room of that room. "Something is _definitely_  wrong with him" Niall said as the boys looked at him.

 

 

"Yes I think we should take him to the hospital as soon as we are back in the UK." louis said while rubbing his temples.

 

 

Both the other boys agreed with him and went off to their rooms. Louis got up and went to Zayn's room. He opened the door and saw that Harry and Zayn were sleeping at the bed, cuddling. He smiled at the view, snapped a picture and left the room.

 

 

 

 

He went Back to his room, he closed his door and slide down against it as tears of frustration gathered up in his eyes,  _because he didn't know what has happened to the love of his life._

 

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the late update

 

 

 

 

 

**Zayn's POV**

 

 

 

 

I woke up form my deep slumber when I heard someone knock on my door.  _Groaning_  I pulled my pillow over my head trying to block the voice, just as I was to slip into a deep slumber, someone chucked beside me. Scared shitless I jumped up and _smack_  that person right on their cheek.

 

 

 _"Ouch!_  Zayn that hurt. I never thought you as an abusive person" Louis teased as he chucked lightly. Giving him a sheepish smile a mumbled a soft sorry. He gave me a half smile and got up from the floor where he had fallen down when I had smacked him. "No worries, now let's get you ready shell we. We have leave for the airport in half an hour, so why don't you jump in the shower, while I'll pack your stuff." Louis mumbled while picking my clothes from the floor and  _dumping_  them into the nearest bag he could find.

 

 

Chucking at his behavior, I nodded and walked toward the bathroom. Quickly taking a shower, I walked back into my room twenty minutes later all set for the airport. My luggage was already gone from the room. Believing it was Louis I walked down to the lobby where the other boys would be.

 

 

"Harry I'm not talking him home with me, I don't care where he goes but he is not coming with me. For goodness sake I need mypersonal space, rather then having him all over myself." Liam hissed at Harry. I stopped dead in my tracks when I heard him say this. I soon realize what they were talking about. Being the _youngest_  in the band had many advantages, but there were some disadvantages of it too. After what happened with my dad, the boys thought it was best for me to stay with one of them, at all times.

 

 

I tried toconvince them that I was capable of living alone but they refused to listen. I the end they had let me buy my own apartment but i could only stay in it if one of the boys were staying with me.

 

 

"Look Liam I wouldn't have been asking you this in the first place, but there is no one else who can stay or take him with themselves. Niall is going to Ireland for a two weeks, Louis has to spend time while Eleanor because of the management and I'm flying toManchester in order to see Gemma, I would love to taking him with me but Gemma wants to tell us something so she wants it to be a family gathering."

 

 

As soon as Harry finished with his little speech, I felt a pang of pain wash over me. In the past three years it was the first time I realize that I was a _liability_  to the boys which they had to carry around even when they don't want to.

 

 

"Look I don't car-" "Zayn buddy when did you got here." Niall said cutting Liam as he was about to say something.

 

 

All of their heads whipped around in my direction. I could see different emotions passing in there eyes. Harry has  _guilt_  and  _sadness_  in his green orbs. Niall and Louis had matching expressions. Where as liam had an annoyed expression on his face. I guess maybe he still hadn'tforgiven me.

 

 

"Just know, so what are you guys doing here? Let's go." I said quickly ans started walking towards the exit, desperately trying to hide my tears. As we all piled into the car, there was an awkward silence in the car. After a while finally Niall decided to break the silence.

 

 

"So boys what are your plans for the two weeks break. I'm going back to Ireland, I can't wait to see Theo again." Niall said and started ranting about his nephew.

 

 

I blocked Niall's voice and started to think how different my life would have been if my dad would have loved me rather then being embarrassed by me. Maybe then there would be someone in this world who would truly love me. "So Zayn what are your plans?" I was snapped out of my thoughts when Liam questioned me. To say I was  _shocked_  would be an understatement. After not talking to me for two weeks how could he just pop up randomly and start asking me _questions_.

 

 

Clearing my throat rather awkwardly, I replied to him, "Nothing much I was thinking of going back to my apartment and chilling there for a few days."

 

 

 "But Zayn we can't leave you there all alone, you can come home with me, I'm sure Eleanor won't mind."

 

 

"No Louis it's alright. I don't mind staying home alone and I think Liam is right we all need some personal space don't we." I stated with a  _weak_  smile, trying to light their moods with a pathetic joke.

 

 

As soon as the words left my mouth, liam eyes _s_ napped towards me. For a moment I thought I saw guilt pass through his eyes but soon they were cold again. Nobody said anything for the rest of the ride. We soon arrived at the airport and within an hour were seated in our private jet. As soon as the jet was in the air I started to feel  _sleepy_. Within minutes I was sleeping peacefully.

 

 

 

~

 

 

 

"Zayn, Zaynie wake up baby. Everyone is waiting for you." Groaning I tried to swat the person away, but I didn't work because they already had a strong grip on my hand.

 

 

"Nope that's not going to work mister. You already slapped me once I won't let you do this again." Louis said sassily making megiggle. Passing me a smile he tugged on my hand until I stood up. Picking up my shoulder bag we made are way through the airport to the lobby where the rest of the boys were waiting for us. We all bid our farewell to each other, as the boys were going back to their hometowns. As Louis came forward to hug me, he whispered in my ear "I have booked a doctor's appointment for you so get ready by ten thirty tomorrow Morning. Paul will pick you up and take you there. And no buts mister."

 

 

Knowing it would be a lost battle to fight with Louis, I nodded and hugged him tightly once again. Bidding the boys off I made my way back towards the car where our driver was waiting. He dropped me to my apartment after an hour.

 

 

Unlocking the door, I made my way straight towards my bedroom. Too tired to do anything else. By eleven o'clock next morning I was standing outside the clinic where to doctor was suppose to be, with Paul on my side.

 

 

I tried to persuade Paul to take me back home , telling him it was just because of the _stress_  but Paul knew better. Which is why I was sitting alone the hospital waiting room waiting for my name to be called. Paul hadbegged me to let him come with me but I denied it . I knew nothing was wrong with me it was just the stress I was deep in thought when a high pitch voice called me.

 

 

 _"Zayn Malik?_ " I looked up towards a girl around my age, searched for the owner of that name. Nodded my head towards her, I let her know that I was here . "Follow me please Dr. Ethan will be with you shortly " she said and left me in a small office . After a few minutes a men with brown hair and blue eyes walked inside the office.

 

 

"Sorry about the wait. I'm Dr. Ethan you must be Mr. Malik please have a seat." he said while walking towards the desk and sitting on his seat on the other side.  _"_ So what seems to be the problem Mr. Malik?" he asked while looking at me.

 

 

"I don't know lately I have been getting very dizzy. I passed out twice once at our radio station interview and before our interview two days ago. I bruised very easily and I have been very tired " I replied plying with my fingers.

 

 

Dr. Ethan looked at me before noting everything I was telling him down. After he was done, he asked me for a blood sample. "I'll run some test on your blood and see what's wrong but before than I can't say anything Mr. Malik . You'll get your result by tomorrow. In the mean time if you have an problems please call me." he said before passing me his card.

 

 

With that I left the doctors office I went outside and called Paul to pick me up. He came after ten minutes. The ride was comfortable. Paul told me that Louis has called him and was asking for me as my cellphone was  _dead._

 

 

Looking out of the window, I was so lost in my thoughts that didn't realize when we reached my apartment. "Thanks Paul" I mumbled while getting out of the car, I waited for Paul to leave before, I opened the door.

 

 

Going into my apartment I decided to call Louis, because If I didn't he would have a fit worrying about what was wrong with me. I picked up my phone and dialed Lou's number which was on my speed dial. He picked up his phone on the second ring. "Hello Zayn? Are you okay? Why didn't you call me before? What did the doctor say? Is everything alright? Answer me Zayn!"

 

 

"Wow Lou, relax! I'm fine, the doctor took my blood sample. He said he couldn't tell me anything without my blood result, so we have to wait till tomorrow morning" I replied into the phone.

 

 

 _"_ Oh thank God. I was so worried. Do you want me to be there with you? I can take the first flight home if you want?" Louis asked. "No mum, you don't have worry about me." I  _teased_  him. I heard his snort on the other line before he replied. "Now now, don't disrespect me young man! We don't want you to get grounded, do we?" he said in an annoyingly high pitch tone. I rolled my eyes at his behavior and was about to reply him, when I heard someone calling Louis from the other side.

 

 

"Oh sorry Zayn, looks like I have to go. Take care and do call me after you are back from the clinic. Bye."

 

 

_"Bye."_

 

 

With that the line went dead. I signed and drop down on the couch. I turned on the TV and started scrolling through the channels. I decided to watch a movie. Setting the volume at a lower pace and laid down on the sofa. I was about to slip into a deep slumber when mobile went offindicating an arrival of a text.

 

 

Looking at it I frowned when I saw that the text was form anunknown number. Curiously I opened the text and believe me it was the worse mistake I ever made.

 

 

 

_'Welcome back to London Zaynie'_

_Love Dad._

 


	7. chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for such late update but I have been very busy with my life. Now finally things have settled down so here is an update. No promises for the next update.

 

**Narrator's POV**

 

 

 

It took some time for Zayn to realize what the text was saying. But when he did Zayn couldn't understand what was going to happen. His breathing picked up as he tried to think of a reason, which would explain him how his father found out about his trip. But even if he did, there was no way he should be able to contact him. All these question were making him feel dizzy.

 

 

He wanted one of the boys to comfort him at this moment, someone to hold him and tell him that everything will be all right. With shaking hands he searched his room for his phone. Finding it on his bedside, he dialed the first speed-dial and held it to his ear waiting for Louis to pick up.

 

 

"Hell-.."

 

 

"Lou he knows. He knows, he's here. He will get me Lou I want you back." Zayn said in one breath not even waiting for the other person to reply. He was on the edge ofhyperventilating. His breathing was coming out in pants.

 

 

"Zayn? What's wrong?"

 

 

"Liam is that you? LIAM d-dad knows i'm London. Liam how can he know? No one except the management know about this. This is n-not possible! What if he knows? W-what if he takes me again?Li I-I don't wan......"

 

 

"Wow Zayn calm down you're hyperventilating, first tell me what happened?" Liam said in a calm voice.

 

 

"Liam it's my d-dad, he knows where I am. He knows and he is going to get me Liam I don't want to end up with him." Zayn says because all he can think about is what his father would do with him if he ever finds him again. All the beatings, the hurtful comments, the way his eyes went cold as soon as Zayn would enter the room. These thoughts would never leave him alone. They would haunt his for the rest of the life. He wanted all of these thoughts to end.

 

 

"Zayn calm down buddy, nothing is going to happen. I have already texted Paul, he is coming over. He will stay with you for the night. You are safe, you just need to wait for Paul. Ok? Now can you please calm you breathing because honestly you are scaring me." Liam said in one breath. Liam really couldn't understand what was happening, one moment he was chilling' in his room and the next second Zayn is screaming through the phone something about his dad calling or texting him.

 

 

Liam didn't know how long he has been lost in his thoughts when a small voice broke his out of this trance "Liam I'm scared." If Liam wouldn't had the phone next to his ear he would have never heard Zayn.

 

 

"I know Zayn but don't worry. Paul is on his way and until then you can talk to me." Liam replied because this was all he could do being thousands of miles away form each other.

 

 

For the next to minutes both of them remain quite. Liam could hear Zayn's sharp in take of breathe. As he was trying to clam down. While Liam was thinking of different ways through which Yasir would have found out about Zayn's arrival.

 

 

"Are you still mad at me?" Zayn asked out of nowhere, breaking the quite moment.

 

 

"What?"

 

 

"I asked are you still mad at me?" Zayn asked again because he really wanted this fight to be over. He don't know what is wrong with Liam and why is he acting this way but all he know is that today no matter who scared he is he will get his Liam back.

 

 

Because Liam is like a Ray of sunshine in Zayn's dark life. Even if Liam doesn't return the same feelings as Zayn has for him he is still happy.

 

 

"I heard you the first time. I was just shocked that you would ask this question. To tell you the truth Zayn yes I am still mad at you. You have been feeling sick for a whole month and you never ever told me. I thought we were the closest. Then what happened to that Zayn? Why didn't you come to me? And then the whole Sophia drama. I knew for the beginning that she had a liking for you but how could you do that to me? I thought we were _brothers_?" Liam said in a single breath.

 

 

"We are Liam, but you have been so distant lately and you were always mad at me so I thought you didn't want to talk to me." Zayn replied thinking back about all the fights they had. "I'm sorry Zayn it's just I was stressed and then all that happened with Sophia it was all really too much. And maybe I was a little  _jealous_  that you were talking to Louis and Harry rather then me." Liam replied.

 

 

Zayn was about to say something when a knock interrupted him. His first thought went to his dad.

 

 

"Liam someone's at the door." Zayn said barely above whisper forgetting all they were talking about just a minute ago. "Its okay Zayn, it's just Paul so don't worry. Just go and open the door for him." Liam replied in a  _soothing_  voice. Zayn nodded even though Liam couldn't see him. With shaking hands Zayn opened the door to see Paul standing on the other side.

 

 

"Hello Zayn! Are you alright? Liam called and said you were scared." Paul said as Zayn moved out of the way inorder to let him enter. Zayn just shrugged not knowing what to say. "So Zayn Paul is here and you are safe so I guess I'll call you later." Liam said. Zayn wanted to say much more to him but he thought it was the best to leave it right now and talk to each other face to face.

 

 

"Okay bye." Zayn said and cut the call.

 

 

"Paul you can get comfortable in the guestroom it's really late. If you need anything I'll be in my room." Zayn said as he showed Paul the guestroom.

 

 

 

Zayn went into the room and was about to get comfortable into the bed when his phone started ringing.

 

 

 

**Zayn pov**

 

 

 

 

* _Ring Ring*_

 

 

I looked at my phone to see Dr. Ethan calling me. I frowned at it because it was really late and as far as I remember my appointment is day after tomorrow. Shrugging it of I picked up the phone.

 

 

"Hello!" I said into the phone.

 

 

"Zayn it's doctor Ethan, I just got your reports and I just wanted to discuss them with you." Dr. Ethan replied. I don't know why but I suddenly felt very nervous. Without replying to him I just prayed to god that it wouldn't be something serious.

 

 

Finally gaining the courage I asked him, what I was dying to "Is everything alright? I mean the reports, they are normal aren't they?" 

 

 

"Zayn I'm sorry but it's not what you think. We can discuss everything in detail when you will come to the hospital. I have move you appointment to tomorrow. Don't be late it's very important." With that he ended the call leaving me hundred of unanswered questions. Laying on bed, I starting thinking about what Doctor Ethan wanted to talk to me. I prayed that nothing would be wrong with me.

 

 

 

 

~

 

 

The next morning I woke up to my alarm going off. Groaning I roll over to the other side. I was nearly drifting off to sleep when I remember about my appointment. I sat up in my bed rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. I walked into my bathroom, and did my business. After half an hour I got out of the room looking for Paul so he could take me to the doctor. I found him in the dining room.

 

 

"Good morning Zayn." Paul said as he saw me walking into the room.

 

 

"Good morning Paul. Are you done with the breakfast?" I asked him. He nodded. "Hmm can you take to the hospital? My doctor called me last night and said that he has move my appointment today rather than tomorrow." I said in one breath.

 

 

Thank god he didn't question me, just nodded and went to grab his car keys. Within half an hour we reached the hospital. I asked Paul to go home and told him that I will call him when I will be free. I walked into the hospital towards the receptionist and told her about my appointment. She told me to go wait in doctor Ethan's room.

 

 

I walked into his room and sat down onto the chair. After fifteen minutes Dr. Ethan came in. "I'm sorry to kept you waiting. So how are you Zayn." he said while sitting on his chair. "I'm fine and it's okay. So please tell me why did you call me here this urgently. I mean is it something serious.?" I asked as I looked at him. Dr. Ethan took a sharp in take on breath and said " Zayn I don't know how to tell you this. I think you may want someone to be here with you when I tell you the news."

 

 

"I don't have any relatives here and the boys are in their home town. Can you please tell me what's wrong with me?" I asked because now he is scaring me.  _"Zayn I'm sorry to tell you that you have Acute lymphoblastic_ _leukemia_." the doctor replied and I think my world came crashing down.

 

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys I'm so sorry. It totally slipped out of my mind that I had a story and an account on this site. now I have updated a chapter and hopefully will update another soon.

Zayn's POV

"What?"

 

"Zayn I'm so sorry but you have Stage two Acute lymphoblastic leukemia" Dr. Ethan replied.

 

My mind was hazy, I couldn't understand what was happening. All I could here was leukemia. My mind couldn't register the fact that I had cancer. Maybe God hates me cause when ever I'm happy something happens.

 

"Zayn are you alright? I mean I know it must be hard for you. If you want some time, I can leave." Dr. Ethan said.He must think I'm weak I thought to myself. I cleared my throat and replied, my mind still dazed. "Um n-no. I-I'm fine." I replied and thank god my voice didn't break. "What is, what is Acute lymphoblastic leukemia?" I asked hesitantly.

 

"Acute lymphoblastic leukemia is a type of cancer that causes the body to make too many white blood cells (lymphocytes). But these lymphocytes, called leukemia cells, cannot fight infection very well. When leukemia cells build up in the blood and bone marrow, there is less room for healthy blood cells. This can cause infections, anemia, and easy bleeding." He replied as he looked at me. It was like he was waiting for me to have a mental break down.

 

"Oh," Was all I could manage.

 

"I know this must be hard for you Zayn, but with advance technology and all the support from your family and friends, you can get through." Dr. Ethan said while looking at me with pity filled eyes. I just nodded my head. "I'm very sorry," Dr. Ethan said, putting a hand on my arm. "It isn't too advanced. You're lucky we caught it early enough."

 

"So what are we going to do to treat it?" I mumbled trying to rap my head around the news he had broken. It was still very hard for me to register in my brain that I could die within a year.

 

Most people who have cancer, usually die within an year usually because of depression, heart fail or because there bodies weren't strong during the chemotherapy. I shake my head to get rid of all these thoughts and concentrate on what was going to happen next. "Chemo, once a week, we can start from Monday. But I think you should talk to your management first because if you want to continue your tour you would have to fly back and forth, twice a week." the doctor said, looking at me.

 

"Doesn't chemo make you lose all of your hair?" I asked as my hand fluttered to my shining black hair. There was only one thing in my body that I love and it was my hair. If they would fall off Liam would never even look at me.

 

"They will, but once you are healthy they will grow back" Dr. Ethan assured me.

 

I scoff "If I ever got healthy." Dr. Ethan looked shocked at my out burst but then said "Zayn you can't lose hope you have to be strong. You can't win this fight if you're not strong."

 

I don't know whether it was because of the news or because of the stress, I just couldn't contain myself anymore "STRONG? YOU WANT ME TO BE STRONG? I JUST FOUND OUT THAT I HAVE CANCER AND I COULD DIE STILL YOU WANT ME TO BE STRONG?" Dr. Ethan looked clam as if he was used to this kind of outburst. "Zayn I know it must be hard for you but you have to accept it."

 

"Look I need sometime to figure this out. Thank you for all this I call you later." I said and with that I got up and turn around and leave the office as soon as possible. Just as my hand touch the doorknob Dr. Ethan voice stopped me" Zayn we have to talk about this. Your cancer is on second we can still stop it if we start the chemotherapy within a week. Please don't take it lightly."

 

I just merely nodded and stepped out of the hospital. Saying I was shocked would be an understatement. I couldn't believe I had cancer. I have no idea about how I will break this news to the boys, they will be shocked I know they will be devastated. I didn't call Paul. I wanted sometime alone. So I could figure out what I wanted to do. I pulled my hood over my head in order to avoid the fans and the paps. Without the care of the world I started walking. All I could think about was that I have cancer.

 

I didn't realize that it has started raining but even that didn't stop me. While I was walking aimlessly I started crying. All I could think was I had cancer and I was going to die. My pace slowed down as realization drawn to me. My body was shaking with the force of sobs which were threatening to come out of my mouth. Looking around I realized that I was in an alley. I slide down the wall as sobs started to leave my body.

 

My whole world faded black as my mind swept into total and absolute darkness of realization. I was so deep in my thoughts that I didn't hear the light footsteps that were getting near the alley.

 

Soon the footsteps which were light and slow, were getting louder. Finally they stopped in front of me. I was so tired of crying that I didn't even had the strength to look up. Suddenly the person that was standing before me cleared their throat before speaking

 

"Hello Zaynie!"

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